The Witty Banter of a Practicing Catholic

Earlier today, I was giving some insight to a friend of mine through wit, banter, and humor about going to Confession and what they should do so they could make the Latin Novos Ordo Mass at the parish tonight.  As I was sitting around the house today, I also thought to myself that I ate a lot of meat yesterday since on Friday (First Friday of Lent), I didn’t eat any meat. In these two moments, I came up with the new page on my blog of comments that a practicing catholic might say to oneself or to others to be serious, but more funny than serious. The new page – The Witty Banter of a Practicing Catholic

There is a twofold purpose of this new page, first, it’s meant to be funny. As practicing Catholics, the world thinks we are crazy, but in that craziness, we can have a lot of fun – such as knowing that you sometimes have to line up one hour before Confession begins. Second, it will provide insight to the beauty and mystery of Catholicism. The same Catholicism that a practicing Catholic witnesses every day in the Church.

As I think of sayings or comments that come into mind or come out of my lips or things I hear others say, I will write them on this page. Credit will be given. If you want some wit, banter, and humor, read this post – 12 Sayings of Mother Angelica that Made Me Laugh Out Loud.

Saint Philip Neri…Pray for Us. 

12 Reasons Why 112 Degrees Is Better Than 12 Degrees

Over the past couple of days, Phoenix, Arizona, has been enduring the hottest temperatures we have seen so far this year. We all knew something was coming since our May was one of the most enjoyable in years. The nighttime lows even dropped into the high 60’s. However, over the past few days, the temps have been anywhere between 112-117 degrees.The Weather Channel has even issued a special weather statement called a heat advisory about the high temperatures. The funny thing is that we have had temps like this for decades and all of sudden we now have heat advisories.

Over the next week, the temps will decrease bringing us back to our normal weather, but the weather is still going to be warm. This is life for those that are tough and live in the desert climate. Ha!

Hot as hell postcard

But even with all of these super hot temps and special weather statements issued by the Weather Channel, I would take this weather over the 100 degree difference seven days of the week and twice on Sundays. Although I enjoyed the fall season while living in the Northern part of the USA for two years in 2008-2010, there is nothing like having warm air, sunny skies, and beautiful weather for 300 plus days a year. The heat is so much better than the cold…So. Much. Better.!

So for today’s blog post, we are going to focus (done with humor!) on 12 Reasons Why 112 Degrees is Better Than 12 Degrees.

1. You don’t have to shovel the heat. Period.

2. You don’t have to dig your car out of the heat or scrap heat off your windows.

Steubenville, Ohio - February 5-6, 2010.

Me in Steubenville, Ohio – February 5-6, 2010, freezing my arse off. (Picture was taken by Catholic Apologist, Trent Horn).

3. There is no need to wear four layers of clothes, take off two layers when in the house (because it’s still cold in the house even when the heat is on!), and then put on the other two layers again to leave the house.

If you have children, this must be brutal!! They often have to go to bathroom just as you finished wrapping them with the fourth layer. Famous Winter Conversation: “I have to go to bathroom…Now, you have to go?! I just asked you if you had to go.”

Kid in the snow

“I have to go to the bathroom.”

4. The car is already warmed up. It only takes a matter of minutes for the air condition to get cold. When it’s 12 degrees outside, it seems it takes hours for the car engine to get warm enough to turn the heat on.

5. Natural. Vitamin. D. Period!

arizona-sun

6. There is no need to go to the tanning salon to get some ultraviolet rays. I knew so many people from the South, Southwest, and Southern California at Franciscan who did this at a place on Sunset Blvd. See #5.

7. The heat does not cause seasonal depression. The cold temps, the perpetual gray clouds, and the overall environment can cause anyone to drink heavily. Ha ha! I knew people who were on daily Vitamin D pills for seasonal depression. Again, see #5.

8. A nice day here is clear and sunny, not partly cloudy and a 50% chance of snow like the Northern part of the United States. We have 300 plus days a year of sunshine!

9. White wine, a mojito, or a Moscow Mule (and the other mules) taste great on a hot day.

10. Water is always refreshing, whether you are drinking it or swimming in it; it’s not frozen where it cause you to slip and break your leg, arm, wrist, or some other bone that is valuable to your body.

11. When it’s 112 degrees outside, there’s no chance of sliding on ice and crashing your car.

12. 112 degrees builds strength, endurance, and it makes you realize that the human person is tough and can handle such weather, not like those wimps in the North, or the Texans who complain about cold weather and hot weather. Ha Ha!

What is the Moral of the Story?

Living in the desert, or even just the southern most states of the US, is far better than living in the North. So glad my parents chose to move us here when we were kids.

Disclaimer: This is meant to be humor. Please take it that way. Comments about our water supply and anything anti-humor will be thrown out. Some people have no sense of humor. Thank you for reading.  

Update: In what seems to be a touch of divine humor (maybe the saints are trying to teach something), my air condition unit has failed on me and I am without AC as of right now (late Sunday night). A call has been placed to the home warranty company and I am waiting for them to call me back. It seems that quite a few people have lost their AC from this heat. Home ownership has its twists.