Not many people this side of heaven know about the infinite round of golf that occurs between God and Moses. I was given this knowledge from the “Godfather” of Catholic Blogging – Rocco Palmo – since he speaks with the Almighty Himself (you know that’s how he gets all his knowledge on the Church and the happenings in the Vatican). He told me that I could reveal this story to humanity today since he is busy writing about the happenings in the Church currently. I was happy and honored that he would trust me with such knowledge.
You might be asking yourself, how is it possible to play all the best golf courses around the world? Well they don’t play the whole course, but they play the best holes on different golf courses around the world in this eternal round of golf. Since there is not one saint in Heaven that is specifically the Patron Saint for Geography, they call upon Saint Albert the Great who had extensive knowledge of Geography (and other Scientific subjects) while living here on Earth. You could say that St. Albert acts as the forecaddie for God and Moses, but instead of tracking their shots on the courses, he tracks down the best golf holes to play on Earth.
So what holes have they played? They have played the 1st hole at Doonbeg Golf Club in Ireland, the 18th hole at Dubai Creek Golf & Yacht Club in Dubai, UAE, the 17th hole at the Old Course in St Andrews, Scotland, the 9th hole at the Gary Player Country Club in Sun City, South Africa, the 13th hole of the Canyon Course in Blue Canyon Country Club, Thailand, the 7th hole at Pebble Beach in California, USA, and many others.
God and Moses recently made a trip to Scottsdale, Arizona and played the Champions Course at TPC – Scottsdale. St. Albert told them one of the best holes on the PGA Tour is the 16th hole at TPC – Scottsdale. During the Waste Management Open, thousands of people filled with libations gather around this “stadium” hole to cheer on, scream at, make noise in general, and revel on the golfers like no other hole in golf. Playing this hole was all God’s idea. Moses agreed, but he told God that they had to play it when the Open was not happening. He had enough revelry, libations, screaming, and an overall stiff-necked disposition with the Israelites on Mount Sinai when they built the Golden Calf. He was not going through that nonsense again!
Although they have played all these holes around the world, St. Albert pointed out to them a few days ago that they have never played “Amen Corner” at Augusta National Golf Club in Augusta, Georgia, USA. It’s the course where they play The Masters, and since God and Moses are both masters in their respected fields, it makes perfect sense. From what’s been revealed to us, all the holes are played pretty even between God and Moses – they usually shoot par on every hole and don’t have to use any supernatural abilities to play the hole. Ever since they agreed to play “Amen Corner”, God felt that he needed to win this hole out right.
Early this morning, before Sandy Lyle of Scotland, John Peterson of the United States, and Nathan Smith of the United States teed off at 8:00 a.m. EST, God and Moses made their way out to the tee box of the 11th Hole (White Dogwood) – the beginning of “Amen Corner.” What often happens, God allowed Moses to tee off first. They both like the wooden clubs better than the new titanium clubs because most things in the Old Testament were made of wood – Noah’s Ark, Ark of the Covenant [layered with gold eventually], Aaron’s staff, and wood was used for the construction of the Temple.
Moses pulled out his wooden driver and knocked a beauty of a shot straight down the narrow and tight fairway. He could not have parted the Red Sea with such precision.
With a wink of his eye, Moses said, “Amen Corner might just be my kind of hole.”
Not faded the least with Moses’ bomb down in the middle of the fairway, God teed up his ball. Not worried about the wind, even though it’s a factor on this hole, God swung at the ball, but he hooked it! As the ball headed into the trees on the left, a bird plucked it out of a tree and dropped it on the fairway. As the ball hit the fairway, a squirrel ran up and put the ball in his mouth, however, a hawk swooped down from the sky and grabbed the squirrel in his claws. As they were flying over the pond that guards the green, the squirrel dropped the ball into the water. A fish in the pond swallowed it but realizing it was not food, spit the ball onto the green where it rolled right into the bottom of the cup – A Hole in One!!
As God looked at Moses with a smile and unconditional love, Moses said to Him while shaking his head in disgust, “Are we going to play golf or are you going to mess around all day?”
God responded with a hint of sarcasm, “AMEN!! This is my kind of Corner!”