Catholic Fiction

God, Moses, and “Amen Corner”

Not many people this side of heaven know about the infinite round of golf that occurs between God and Moses, but as you will see below, there is one round of golf that continues between them and they have golfed some rather sweet golf courses.

You might be asking yourself, how is it possible to play all the best golf courses around the world? Well they don’t actually play the whole course, but they play the best holes on different golf courses around the world in this eternal round of golf. Since there is not one saint in Heaven that is specifically the Patron Saint for Geography, they call upon Saint Albert the Great who had extensive knowledge of Geography (and other scientific subjects) while here on Earth. You could say that St. Albert acts as the forecaddie for God and Moses, but instead of tracking their shots on the courses, he tracks down the best golf holes to play around the globe.

So what holes have they played? They have played the 1st hole at Doonbeg Golf Club in Ireland, the 18th hole at Dubai Creek Golf & Yacht Club in Dubai, UAE, the 17th hole at the Old Course in St Andrews, Scotland, the 9th hole at the Gary Player Country Club in Sun City, South Africa, the 13th hole of the Canyon Course in Blue Canyon Country Club, Thailand, the 7th hole at Pebble Beach in California, USA, and many others.

A score is kept, however, it’s just between them and we aren’t permitted to to know it. They are both very low handicaps, but just like the score of this infinite round of golf, the handicaps are kept just between them and their forecaddie, St. Albert the Great.

In late January and early February, God and Moses recently made a trip to Scottsdale, Arizona and played a few of the holes at the Champions Course at TPC – Scottsdale. St. Albert told them one of the best holes on the PGA Tour is the 16th hole at TPC – Scottsdale. During the Waste Management Open, thousands of people filled with libations gather around this “stadium” hole to cheer on, scream at, make noise in general, and revel on the golfers like no other hole in golf.

Although it was God’s idea to play this hole, Moses told God that they had to play it when the Open was not happening. He had enough revelry, libations, and cheering when he had to endure those annoying Israelites on Mount Sinai when they built the Golden Calf. He was not going through that nonsense again!

Although they have played all these holes around the world, St. Albert pointed out to them a few days ago that they have never played “Amen Corner” at Augusta National Golf Club in Augusta, Georgia, USA. It’s the course where they play The Masters, and since God and Moses are both masters in their respected fields, it makes perfect sense. From what’s been revealed to us, all the holes are played pretty evenly between God and Moses – they usually shoot par on every hole and don’t have to use any supernatural abilities to play the hole. Ever since they agreed to play “Amen Corner”, God felt that he needed to win this hole out right.

Very early this morning, just before the first groups began teeing off, God and Moses made their way out to the tee box of the 11th Hole (White Dogwood), which is the beginning of “Amen Corner.” What often happens in the match, God allows Moses to tee off first. They both like the wooden clubs better than the newer clubs because most things in the Bible were made of wood – Noah’s Ark, Ark of the Covenant [layered with gold eventually], Aaron’s staff, wood was used for the construction of the Temple, and the wood of the Cross.

Moses pulled out his wooden driver and knocked a beauty of a shot straight down the narrow and tight fairway. He could not have parted the Red Sea with such precision.

With a wink of his eye, Moses said, “Amen Corner – might just be my kind of hole.”

Not faded the least with Moses’ bomb down in the middle of the fairway, God teed up his ball. Not worried about the wind, even though it’s a factor on this hole, God swung at the ball, but he hooked it! As the ball headed into the trees on the left, a bird plucked it out of a tree and dropped it on the fairway. As the ball hit the fairway, a squirrel ran up and put the ball in his mouth, however, a hawk swooped down from the sky and grabbed the squirrel in his claws. As they were flying over the pond that guards the green, the squirrel dropped the ball into the water. A fish in the pond swallowed it but realizing it was not edible, spit the ball onto the green where it rolled right into the bottom of the cup – It Was A Hole in One!!

As God looked at Moses with a smile and a twinkle in his eyes, Moses said to Him while shaking his head in disgust, “Are we gonna play golf or are you going to screw around all day?!”

11th hole at Augusta National(“Amen Corner” is Holes 11, 12, & 13 of Augusta National Golf Club; pictured is the green of the 11th hole)

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